You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can’t Tuna Pizza
At least that’s what the ancient Hawaiins used to say. Just kidding! They never said that and neither did I. Though I probably should have, because when my friends and I ordered French-bread pizza on Sunday, we never thought to ask what else might be hidden under the cheese.
Taking the first bite into a pizza covered in tuna is as horrible as you can imagine. I tried to pawn it off on a local… that didn’t work. I tried pawning it off on several dogs…that didn’t work. I tried pawning it off on a homeless man… couldn’t find one. (But even the homeless know better than to accept a tuna pizza). That was the night I said goodbye to the last two euros in my pocket, and my faith in Spanish cuisine.
I realize this post is going backwards, but it’s my blog and I’ll do what I please.
So on Friday I took my Spanish final. I know, I know, that was fast. But remember to take into account the fact that I just crammed a semester’s worth of Spanish into three weeks. I’m actually quite impressed with the knowledge I’ve gained in such a short amount of time. I can ask to use the bathroom, figure out the price of the shirt I want to buy, and order dinner at a restaurant. That’s basically all I need to survive anyway. Seriously though-I’m literate now and can form useful sentences. Well, before you spontaneously combust with curiosity, I will tell you that I passed the test and the class with flying colors and shall be moving onto level dos next week in conjunction with legitimate classes. I also was chosen to assist in an English classroom at a local school every Monday. WARNING: DO NOT BE IMPRESSED; everyone who applied got the job. I don’t usually sell myself short like this, but sacrifices must be made for this blog. I just wish I had known that was the case before I slaved over making a résumé that fancy-fied (shh, let it happen) all my amateur work experience over the years. I found a plus side though! The next person to read my résumé will get to read about this volunteer experience and (hopefully) be impressed, unknowing that I was accepted by default.
Post exam celebrations were held at “that Mexican restaurant that’s kinda near the Kenia building next to the Chino dollar store type thing” with my teacher and fellow classmates. It was really good, and really exciting because when I was informed that there would not be any Taco Bell items in Spain, I reconsidered my study abroad location. But Alas! I had a burrito and all was right in the world.
On Wednesday, in attempts to find a moderately crowded tapas bar that was showing the soccer game, we stumbled into perhaps the greatest place in the city- Totes y Amigos. No, I cannot translate the name, but I can tell you that it would have been the perfect setting for an episode of “The Twilight Zone.” All we wanted was a place to sit and speak to each other in English, but the manager, a proud owner of six too many teeth, insisted otherwise. He continuously advised us to pull up chairs to a table with other foreigners speaking Spanish. Things got awkward after seven minutes of explaining that we were not interested in an intercambio session and reiterating the fact that just because we are from America does not mean we know Emily from Chicago who ate there last week. We eventually left and settled for a place not too far away. This was the second best place in Granada where we enjoyed two pitchers of sangria and two tapas each for three euros. Jealous?!
As for Monday and Tuesday, nothing really stands out in my mind except my first taste of an orange straight from a tree, and my last orange straight from a tree. *Hint* They were the same encounter. I took a few walks, discovered some new shortcuts, argued with salespeople trying to rip me off and bruised my leg on the tub when I fell getting in the shower. Mom, I know you’re reading this and yes I know exactly what our conversation about this situation would have entailed: “Hi mom, yes, yes I’m fine. No the door wasn’t locked. No I wasn’t unconscious. No, I don’t think tub-grip,ultra waterproof shower shoes exist but I’ll keep an eye out.”
Well, everyone, the next week I’m on vacation! I’ll be sure to fill you all in about my excursions to Madrid and Barcelona ASAP, but for now I must sleep. Buenos Noches, y’all.